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Monday, February 18, 2013

FIGHTS: @WWE Elimination Chamber '13 ZBF.com Notes

by Bowie Ibarra

Punk uses Rock's finisher on him on a table,
a hilarious moment in the match.
The 'Road to Wrestlemania' goes through the Elimination Chamber.  Once a bloody and violent affair has taken midcard status to some of the other rivalries going on.  Here's are some notes from the event, courtesy of ZombieBloodFights.com.

WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH
ALBERTO DEL RIO (c) vs. BIG SHOW

-- Wild title defense that sees Del Rio take the victory with his armbar.

US TITLE MATCH
ANTONIO CESARO (c) vs. THE MIZ

-- Miz is an idiot and gets himself DQ'd by accidental knee drop on Cesaro's crotch.  Way to go, stupid.  He kicked him there again for good measure.  What's Miz got against Cesaro's junk?

ELIMINATION CHAMBER MATCH FOR
#1 WORLD TITLE CONTENDERSHIP
Swagger v. Bryan v. Kane v. Henry v. Orton v. Jericho

-- Jack Swagger entered his pod first, but not before having Zeb Coulter cut a radical racist right promo about 'crossing borders' and 'making things right'.  I like this so much.  Not for Swagger and Coulter being racist assholes, but because it evokes a real emotion in me to boo these pieces of shit.  It's great!  It's variation on a theme of Sgt. Slaughter/Iraq War. 
Say what you will, but I think pro-wrestling is best when it is reflecting the cultural and social discussions of its time period.
-- Thankfully, Jericho and Bryan started the match, so it featured great scientific wrestling with sweet counters by Bryan to Jericho's vaunted Crab hold. 
-- Bryan went for a pin on his tag-partner Kane, but missed it and had to answer for it.  That was pretty hilarious.
-- It was great to see Mark Henry return and clean house in the cage, throwing Orton through a pod and putting away Bryan and Kane with the World's Strongest Slam.  He would fall victim to the 'Lets all defeat the big guy with all of our power moves' by the last three dudes, Jericho, Orton, and Swagger.
--  Loved the finish, with Orton putting away Jericho before suddenly falling victim to a simple scientific rollup from Swagger for the win.

Racist Right Asshole gets to meet the Rich Mexican Aristocrat at WrestleMania!  What a great matchup, and I'll be interested to see how the audience responds to this match.

GRUDGE MATCH
THE SHIELD vs. CENA, SHEAMUS, AND RYBACK
--  It was a pretty good match, with Shield dominating with quick tags and control.
--  The best part for me was looking at Seth Rollins and thinking, 'Wow, that's Tyler Black.  Not even two years ago, he was competing in the Ring of Honor rings.  Now he's punching John Cena in the face.
--  Great finish, with Cena and Ryback going for their finishers.  But Ryback was more concerned about showboating with his march before dropping Rollins.  That left him vulnerable for Roman Reigns to spear the hell out of Ryback, as Sheamus was out of commission after being speared through the guardrail, and Cena was distracted with his own pride for dropping Dean Ambrose in the FU.  Rollins rolls on a hurt Ryback and takes the victory.

DOLPH ZIGGLER vs. KOFI KINGSTON
-- After Ziggler won, the best part was Big E. Langston returning to the ring to smash Kofi as payback for jumping on him twice on the outside during the match.

DIVA'S TITLE MATCH
TAMINA SNUKA vs. KAITLYN (c)
-- The highlight was Tamina Snuka missing her Superfly Splash.  Kaitlyn retains.

WWE TITLE MATCH
ROCK (c) vs. CM PUNK
--  Start was a great reversal of their first match that started fast.  This time, out of respect for each other's skills, they started slow with some science.
-- Good match up to the point that Punk decided he needed to use underhanded tactics to take out Rock.  I swear, he needs to stick with science, because this skullduggery shit hasn't worked out for him. 
-- Punk hits a Rock Bottom on Rock on the announce table, and the table doesn't break.  That was hilarious.
--  Ref gets knocked out because of Paul Heyman up on the apron, but Punk hits the GTS.  Punk and Heymen set this up, and now Punk could have won had the plan not played out so well.  That's on Punk.
--  WWE refs have brittle bone syndrome, as the next ref got hurt immediately, ala Mr. Glass in 'Unbreakable'.
-- It should be noted that Punk kicked out of a Rock Bottom and People's Elbow.  Ain't that some shit.
-- Rock wins clean, and Punk has no one to blame but himself.

Weeks away from WrestleMania.  We'll see how it plays out from here.

ZombieBloodFights.com endorses Alberto Del Rio, for damn sure.

===

BOWIE V. IBARRA is the author of the 'Down the Road' zombie horror series from Permuted Press and Simon and Schuester. 

His combat sports themed book, PIT FIGHTERS: BAPTISM BY FIRE, features a luchador from Mexico who transitions to mixed martial arts competition.  It is available in paperback and on Kindle for .99 cents.

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You can network with Bowie and explore his other titles at his personal website, ZombieBloodFights.com.

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