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Monday, March 5, 2012

FIGHTS: RECAP - Strikeforce Tate/Rousey. Another arm bites the dust

by Bowie Ibarra

MMA can be hit or miss sometimes.  Strikeforce: Tate/Rousey was no exception.  The guy fights were alright.  But like a card featuring female fighters, for some reason, the girls always steal the show.  Here's a brief recap before the big female-headlining main event.



JACARE SOUZA vs. BRISTOL MARUNDE

Marunde was alright, but Jacare spent all three rounds playing with the outclassed Marunde like a cat plays with a mouse in a field.  It was all Jacare, who ended up submitting Marunde with a side choke in the third.  Luke Rockhold, the middleweight champ, was in the crowd.  It looks like the two are set to fight in the near future for the title Rockhold took from Jacare.

SCOTT "HANDS OF STEEL" SMITH vs. LUMUMBA SAYERS

No, not Leo Sayers.  Lumumba Sayers.

'When I need you/I just lift you up and I throw you...'
They called Scott Smith a 'comeback artist'.  I don't know if I want to be known as a 'comeback artist'.  That means to me that I am good at getting my ass kicked and end up winning by pulling it out of my ass.  Forget that, man.  I want to be the dude that jab-jab-crosses and German Suplexes my way to victory.

So when your reputation is being a come-backer, that's a trainride that comes to a stop pretty quick.  Especially when you're on a three-fight skid.

And that's what happened here.  Sayers ended up taking the victory locking in a Guillotine after a tremendous 'Air Raid' style slam.  Victory to Sayers, who, I imagine, felt like dancing.

"SEMTEX" PAUL DALEY vs. KAZUO MISAKI

I'm not sure where the Paul Daley I once knew went.  I just wish he'd come back.  He used to let it all hang out and just bring the pain when he fought.  He needed it against this guy from Japan, Kazuo Misaki, who brings it every time he fights.  Any dude that comes in all keyed up to a headache-inducing drum-and-bass techno explosion  is a dude you better bring your A-Game for.

But Daley didn't.  While not necessarily riding a bike from the middle of the second round all the way through the third, Daley made no effort to push the fight.  Especially when he should have after opening up Misaki with an elbow on the ground.  Instead, Misaki pushed the fight to the end and took the decision victory in spite of a face caked in blood.

"THE PUNK" JOSH THOMPSON vs. KJ NOONS

Thompson dominated for the entire match.  Not much to say about this one, except Thompson dominating for more than 10 minutes on the ground in a 15-minute bout.  Even he said it was a 'shit' performance.  Hey, that's him.  Not me.

But it was.

MIESHA "TAKEDOWN" TATE vs. "ROWDY" RONDA ROUSEY

Okay, here it is.  Girls, man.  Just brutal.

So, the chisme is that both were kind of chill until Tate decided to literally get in Rousey's face at the weigh ins.  They were all smiles until this moment, which made Rousey shove Tate's face away from hers with her forehead.


Allegedly, Rousey claims Tate called for a fine for Rousey trying to 'headbutt' her during the weigh-in.  That didn't sit well with Rousey, who thought that if Tate was going to go 'all hard', she should follow through.  The call for a fine was a 'bitch' move.

So, thanks to Gina Carano setting a standard for 'looks that kill' for the competitors in a women's division for the rest of eternity, they had to doll up the two main eventers.


  Here's Ronda before the main event.


Here's Ronda on her way to collect a body part, looking like she's on her way to a casting call for an 'Assassin's Creed' live-action movie.


Here's Miesha looking like a foreign super-villain.


Ay vill destrroy herr.

For fun, here's Miesha looking like Wonder Woman.


And here's Miesha on her way to the ring.


She's looking like a female John Cena, clapping hands with the crowd on the way to the cage to face her destiny.  It would have been cooler if she wore the Wonder Woman getup to the ring.

Here's Sarah Kaufman, sitting cageside.  She's the former champ, who won a hard-fought battle earlier that night to get a shot at the winner.


This is the face of the winner.


Here's the face of the chick that lost.

So, champ Tate and challenger Rousey threw down.  Tate pounded Rousey with fists early, but Rousey closed the distance and got the clinch.  Rousey set up some great Judo-style throws, including this one, pictured below.

SCIENCE!

Rousey ended up cinching in an armbar.  Here's how it started.


Here's how it ended.  Notice the look of intense pain on Tate's face.


And the first moments of Rousey's victory were spent adjusting her biker shorts.


Tate was proud, and was not going to show any pain.  Not even a tear.  Just slobber from her mouthpiece that was removed from her mouth.  


And here's Sarah Kaufman, looking on with a joyful bruised and scabby smile about her upcoming money fight and the possibility of having her arm adjusted.


Here's the victor, looking on at the remains of her foe like a murderous artisan admiring her handiwork.


And the best part was when she said, in effect, that she doesn't feel bad for taking Tate's arm home because Tate had it coming.


And great camerawork to get this shot as Rousey refuses to bury the hatchet for taking it to Tate like she did.


Here's what I learned yet again:  Don't mess with women.  There's a beautiful cruelty to them that no man could ever match.

Face it, guys.  There's girls that are more hardcore than you are, and I'm not just talking about these ladies, or Megumi Kudo and Shark Tsuchiya in their 

To be honest, I don't know why people talk trash about Rousey getting a shot too early.  She's a freakin' OLYMPIC MEDALIST.  She is literally one of the best in the world at Judo, a great and old grappling sport.  Why not give her a title shot? 

Well, she proved it Saturday.  In a sport where one week a dude could be working 8-5 at a tire garage, and fighting in a cage for a respected title the next (read: Rodgers/Emelianenko), I think an Olympian can get the benefit of the doubt in MMA.
 
Check out the scrap here, then check out the books below.
 

Support the blog by picking up one of these combat sports titles today in paperback or Kindle.
'Pit Fighters: Baptism by Fire' and 'Pit Fighters: Double Cross' are combat sports-themed book that features fights from the early days of MMA, and plenty of underground money fights.  You've got to check them out, and they're available on Kindle or paperback today.
 
 
BOWIE V. IBARRA is the author of the 'Down the Road' zombie horror series from Permuted Press and Simon and Schuster.  His latest story, 'Tejano Star and the Vengeance of Chaplain Skull' is a Tex-Mexploitation superhero story in the tradition of 'Machete' and 'Black Dynamite'.  Get it in paperback or Kindle today.
 
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