by Bowie Ibarra
If Elton John has taught me anything, it's that
Saturday Night's Alright for Fighting. And it proved true in this amazing night for combat sports. ZombieBloodFights.com takes a look at the night.
UFC ON FOX 5
Mike 'Quick' Swick vs. Matt 'Immortal' Brown
The show started strong with these two UFC vets. Matt Brown documented how he found salvation in MMA to keep him from drugs. Swick was on a comeback from health issues.
It played out fine by me, with both guys fighting it out on the ground and feet with some MMA science. Brown KO'd Swick, and it was a great knockout. I was happy Swick got finished with such cruelty as I've had a problem with the dude when he tried to rename the 'guillotine choke' after himself.
BJ Penn vs. Rory McDonald
BJ Penn was fighting for relevance that has long passed him by. Rory McDonald was not to be denied in the most douchey way possible. The young Canuk showed little respect to the MMA legend in promos leading up to the fight, as well as the actual fight. Penn could not handle McDonald's youthful offense and weight, and fans like myself will have to wait until another time to watch this cocky jerk from the great white north get his comeuppance.
It was nice, though, to hear the fans boo him as he tried to call out Carlos Condit. He stood in the ring like a
pendejo, wondering why everyone was booing him
as he tried to be the 'respectful mixed martial artist' Mike Goldberg has tried to hammer into our brains for years.
Even Joe Rogan couldn't get him over with the crowd, hugging McDonald's nuts in front of the Seattle crowd that was having none of it. Joe, we understand he's a talented young up-and-coming star, my man. But he's an arrogant and disrespectful dick, and I just want to see someone whip his ass. He would do well to work on some of those Canadian manners us ugly Americans are always told canuks have.
Maybe start by having him NOT cut 'Arrogant Young Heel' promos before a fight.
We see through your act, McDonald, you hoser.
Take off, eh. You're loaded.
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| (insert caption here) |
Ronda Rousey gets booked in her first UFC Match
Ronda Rousey is granted an official UFC Women's Title Belt to defend, and is booked for her first fight. She's real excited about all that.
Alexander 'The Mauler' Gustafsson vs. Mauricio 'Shogun' Rua
This was a big test for Guffstasson. Rua is not a man to be trifled with, event his far into his illustrious career.
But Gustafsson was able to weather the Brazillian's storm and shut down Rua with cruel strikes. Well done, Gus.
UFC LIGHTWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP
Benson Henderson (C) vs. Nate Diaz
Benson Henderson is a great and dominating UFC Lightweight Champ. Diaz has never been considered a class act, but he's a pretty good fighter. He uses his tremendous reach to pepper foes with punches like his brother to great success.
But Benson showed why he was the champ, dominating Diaz on the feet and the ground. As per the Diaz brothers, he talked trash and even flipped Henderson off, which was edited by Fox to avoid fines by the FCC.
Great job there putting such a loose cannon in the main event there, Dana. The Diaz brothers are fighters through and through, and I enjoy watching them because they are pretty exciting fighters. This sport is clearly a good career choice for them with their bad attitudes and lack any social skills or class. They just need management.
PACQUIAO/MARQUEZ IV
The undercard was alright. The Miguel Vasquez vs. Mercito Gesta was garbage, and was highlighted by an in-between rounds backstage shot of Juan Manuel Marquez getting his hands taped while watching the above UFC Fox 5 main event.
The Filipino Micheal Farenas fight against the returning Cuban Yuriorkis Gamboa was competative, with Farenas even knocking Gamboa down late. Gamboa won by decision, but it was a hard-earned victory, as every time Gamboa had Farenas in trouble, the dude would fight his way back out.
50 Cent also came down from the roof before the Gamboa fight, singing a rap song. He was strapped to cords that lowered him from the rafters. Owen Hart is dead, yet 50 Cent continues to make records. Life is unfair.
There were even celebrity guests at the event, including Mitt Romney, who looked so scared trying to mix in with the people. I imagine him telling Pacquiao it was great that he was representing Brazil, or calling the cops when he met 50 Cent. He was to sit in the crowd near Pacquiao's corner, which is a bad omen when you think about it.
After this match was the headliner. But before that, we had to do the national anthems. Apparently, the sound guy forgot the national anthem CD or MP3, because they were all done A Capella. C'mon, guys. In this day and age, no one could download the karaoke version of the songs?
Also, the US national anthem was sung as well after the Mexican and Filipino. I guess for the referee, or what?
The main event that was outstanding. The guys came out swinging, and it hearkened back to their very first match years ago.
In the third round, after an exchange, Marquez knocked Pac down. Then in the fifth, Pac answered by sending Marquez to the mat.
It was in the 6th that Marquez put Pac's lights out in the final seconds of the round. Eating a punch from Pac, Marquez took the shot to deliver one of his own, an overhand right that clocked Pac straight in the mouth, sending him hopping off his feet and face first to the mat.
I swear, I thought he was dead. He was out for a little bit, and it was reminiscent of
Pac's fight against Ricky Hatton. What goes around comes around, and Pac went out a warrior.
And that's the great thing about Pacquiao: He is a warrior. It's just what he does. He fights. He fights very well, and he knows it. He said he would be fine with a rematch with Marquez. That would be good. He's a warrior. Set the pay, and he'll do it. That's his profession.
But it looks like first a match between Marquez and Brandon Rios is on the horizon, which sounds pretty good.
It's too bad that Pacquiao/Mayweather, the greatest fight to NEVER happen, never took place. The cowardly loudmouth Mayweather dodged Pac for so long, making excuses, saying Pac was taking performance enhancing drugs. He thinks Pac is a cheater.
Mayweather is a total douche, but he's good. He's real good, and a great boxer and athlete. You cannot take that away from him.
He's also smart.
He knows Pac could beat him back in the day. He knew Marquez would beat him, too. That's why he put on several extra pounds and paid off Marquez with $500,000 to get away with it on the night of their fight. Some would call that cheating to win, in spite of the payoff.
Hell, he even cheap-shot KO'd the foolish Victor Ortiz when Ortiz was turning up the heat. Granted, the shot was within the rules, but there's not one person who can say it was not a cheap shot, a shitty win, and a slap in the face to everyone that paid to see a boxing match.
But that's the kind of cowardly turd Mayweather is. A cowardly turd who's an amazing boxer.
Last night, Pacquiao showed he's not a yellow bastard. He showed he's a warrior that will fight the best fighters put in front of him. And on that fateful night, when boxing history was made, not only did Pacquiao cement himself as one of boxing's immortal warriors, but so did Marquez. And that's something Mayweather can never say.
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BOWIE V. IBARRA is the author of the 'Down the Road' zombie horror
series from Permuted Press and Simon and Schuester. His combat sports
themed book,
Pit Fighters: Baptism by Fire , features a boxer from Scotland who transitions to mixed martial arts competition.
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