BLOOD: Review - 'Machete Kills' is a ridiculous action-packed ride

ABSURD ACTION/ADVENTURE SERIES BRINGS THE MAYHEM, LAUGHS
by
Bowie V. Ibarra

 

If you think 'Machete' was ridiculous and fun, wait until you see 'Machete Kills'.

The movie opens with Machete and his lover/partner-in-crimefighting Sartana (Jessica Alba) as they fight the Mexican cartels.  After a botched mission, Machete becomes embroiled in a chase to stop a renegade arms dealer from blowing up Washington, DC.  And the madness begins!
The film is filled with all sorts of Machete-style violent gags with the comic book style action director Rodriguez is known for.  And you can tell all the stars were having a good time.

Like his other movies, Rodriguez sets up the flick with a 'trailer' for the final movie in the Machete trilogy.  No spoilers here, but just know it is ridiculously hilarious.  And throughout the actual movie itself, he sets up the final movie, making 'Machete Kills' the 'Empire Strikes Back' of the Machete series.

You'll get what I'm saying when you watch it!

'Machete Kills' is outrageously fun and is a movie that is totally ZombieBloodFights.com approved.

And if you like outrageous Tex-Mexploitation style stories like 'Machete', check out these titles from ZBF.com, Tejano Star and the Vengeance of Reverend Skull and Codename: La Lechusa.  Get them today in paperback or kindle.

 

BOWIE V. IBARRA earned his BFA in Acting and MA in Theatre History from Texas State University.  Network with Bowie at his official website, ZombieBloodFights.com today.

ZOMBIES: REVIEW - Redeeming aspects of 'Land of the Dead'

OUR ZOMBIE LORD AND SAVIOR WOULD NEVER PUT OUT GARBAGE FOR OUR CONSUMPTION
by
Bowie V. Ibarra

I know, I know.  'Land of the Dead' did not fill out that special space in your black heart reserved for quality zombie horror.  With the lead Simon Baker mailing it in for one of the blandest Z-Day performances out there, I can understand why you might not have been able to connect with the movie or the story being told.  And let's not get started on that whole, 'They're just looking for a place to go, just like us' finish, okay?

Let's instead talk about the story told on that worthy piece of celluloid truly did put on display why George A. Romero is not only a z-day visionary, but our true Zombie Lord and Savior.  Putting Baker's uninspired performance aside, here's some reasons why 'Land of the Dead' might not compete with George's Holy Trinity of Zombie Horror, but is a solid 4th place in his subsequent releases to his zombie children he knows and loves so much.

1.  THE SUPPORTING CAST
Where Simon Baker failed to make a connection with you, take a look at how much fun the others were having in the film. 

ASIA ARGENTO, the legacy of Dario Argento, who worked with Goblin to produce the music to George's 'Dawn...' and went on to his own artsy-fartsy Euro horror movie fame, puts her heart into her performance.  Is it Acadamy Award nominee worthy?  Maybe not.  But you can tell her hearts in it.

DENNIS HOPPER, film legend who also played the Texas Ranger who took on Leatherface chainsaw for chainsaw in 'Texas Chainsaw Massacre part II', plays the evil bourgeois founder of Fiddler's Green, Kaufman.  He puts on a great performance as the evil capitalist that refuses to let the zombie apocalypse keep him from making his money.

JOHN LEGUIZAMO as Cholo, the hard-working Hispanic with the fiery temper who thinks he can work his way to a spot on Fiddler's Green by doing Kaufman's dirty work.  If there's one person who seems to be enjoying himself and can appreciate his spot on one of God's zombie movies, its Leguizamo, who is part of the fiery and emotional finish of the flick.

EUGENE CLARK as Big Daddy, the zombie that still has a piece of his humanity even in living-death, and leads a zombie revolt against the cruelty of Fiddler's Green.  With little to say but vocalization and body language, Clark puts in a tremendous performance in the tradition of Bub from 'Day...'.

Other members of the supporting cast were strong as well, including Dough Boy and Pretty Boy.  But the dude that really steals the show is ROBERT JOY, the dude that played Charlie.  Of all the cast, his performance was the strongest.

2.  DEAD RECKONING

True story.  The first name for 'Land...' was originally 'Dead Reckoning'.  Romero still included that name in the movie as the custom made zombie stomper 18-wheeler.  C'mon now.  You already know you've thought of having some kind of mechanized zombie death dealer in your apocalyptic dreams.  'Land...' delivers that machine in spades.

3.  99% BEFORE 99% WAS COOL

Our Lord has always made political statements in his movies, and this one is no different.  Made nearly seven years before the plummeting dollar reached new lows and the rise of the so-called 99%ers, George once again used zeds as a metaphor for the elite 'haves' doing whatever they want to do in spite of the 'have nots' that are used for their labor (Cholo and the Dead Reckoning crew) who get nothing but living in slums, fed bread and circuses to keep them distracted. 
Think about it:  Fiddler's Green was the 1%ers, the living were the middle class, working and struggling to make ends meet, and the zombies were the poor, completely taken advantage of by the 1% and slowly destroyed by their forces.  It's the zeds (poor), who outnumber the 1%ers (rich), who no longer have the opportunity of the middle class (living), who revolt against the 1%ers.  Even Cholo, having lost his opportunity to be with the rich after working so hard, who eventually joins the ranks of the zeds with its leader, Big Daddy, to destroy Kaufman.

4.  TOM SAVINI

Tom Savini makes a cameo appearance as a zombie, joining the revolt against the rich and attacking the living.

And speaking of Tom Savini..

5.  THE SPECIAL EFFECTS

The special effects are the best zday gore scenes since 'Day...', and for good reason.  The man carrying the Tom Savini special effects torch, Greg Nicotero, takes the special effects helm of this movie.  Granted with the craft skills of Savini, Nicotero takes the gore effects up a notch and puts it on bloody display throughout the movie.

And speaking of Greg Nicotero...

6.  GREG NICOTERO CUTS HIS OWN HEAD OFF

That's right.  The legacy of Tom Savini, who had his own head blown up by a shotgun wielding Joe Spinell in the original 'Maniac', is the 'Tollbridge Zombie' who has his head sheared off by the bridge.  That's right.  The special effects master of 'The Walking Dead' followed in the rich tradition of his master and staged his own death for film.

Fun Fact:  They never recovered that head from the river. 

7.  A TRIBUTE TO 'SERGEANT YORK'

Movie buffs might have recognized a salute to the old war movie from 1941 called 'Sergeant York' with Gary Cooper.  York licks his thumb to shine the front sight of his rifle before he shoots.  Charlie does the same.  And when he shoots the midget during the club melee, its also reminiscent of the Sergeant York turkey shoot scene.

So do you see now why 'Land of the Dead' is still worthy of being considered the number 4 movie of Romero's zombie horror library, while at the same time being a call for revolution?  I do.

But if you still need to get your fill of zombie horror, check out these titles from ZombieBloodFights.com.  They're chock full of great zombie horror and excellent story-telling.  Down the Road, Down the Road: On the Last Day, and Down the Road: The Fall of Austin.  Pick them up in paperback or Kindle today.

 

 

BOWIE V. IBARRA earned his BFA in Acting and MA in Theatre History from Texas State University.  Network with Bowie at his official website, ZombieBloodFights.com today.

 

(Very Little) BLOOD: REVIEW - 'The Conjuring' is solid ghost storytelling

THE LEGEND OF ED AND LORRAINE WARREN ON DISPLAY IN BIG SCREEN SPOOKY TALE
by
Bowie V. Ibarra

Many years ago, I read a book called 'The Haunted'.  It was probably the scariest book I've ever read since 'The Shining', mostly because it was the true account of the horror experience by the Smurl family and the help they received from the legendary Ed and Lorraine Warren.

That's why when I watched 'The Conjuring', I was pleasantly surprised to see that the protagonists were the dynamic duo of demonology themselves.

The movie starts off with a story of the cursed doll that is mentioned in the aforementioned book.  Before long, you get to see the spooky room where the Warren's keep the cursed objects they collected in their mission to help people, also mentioned in the book.

When the Warren's are enlisted to help the Perron family, who just moved into a beautiful country home, the Warren's discover the tragic history of the place and the source of the paranormal activity in the house.

The story itself is top notch, taking place in the 70s.  The costumes, cars, and setting was put together well for the time period, right down to a rotary phone!  And the acting across the board was phenomenal.  While not a bloody movie, the entire film is chock full of chills and legit frights as they deal with the escalating aggression from the ghosts.

'The Conjuring' is an outstanding movie with a great story and even greater performances from the cast that is completely ZombieBloodFights.com approved.

And if its a solid ghost story you are looking for, look no further than Alamo Rising, coming soon from ZombieBloodFights.com.  It's the story of an curse that was set down during the battle of the Alamo that is set in motion in modern times.  It's a ghost story of epic proportions.  Keep your eyes out for it by networking with author Bowie Ibarra at his official website ZombieBloodFights.com.

 

BOWIE VALERIANO IBARRA is the author of the noted 'Down the Road' zombie horror series from Permuted Press.  He's earned a BFA in Acting and a Masters in Theatre History.  Bowie currently resides in San Antonio, Texas.

ZOMBIES: Great moments in Romero's 'Day of the Dead'

MOST UNDERRATED ENTRY PERHAPS BEST IN THE HOLY ZOMBIE TRILOGY
by
Bowie V. Ibarra

 

When people talk about George A. Romero's best zombie movies, you'll probably find a great many people will respond with 'Dawn of the Dead'.  I mean, how many zombie movies had that much action and zombie-smashing fun?

The next segment of fans (like myself) might say 'Night of the Living Dead', the original and the granddaddy of zombie horror movies. 

But a select few might say his third entry, 'Day of the Dead'.  Ironically enough, the minority might be right, and there's been a lot of people looking back in retrospective at the movie since the 2nd wave of the zombie wave has hit.  Here's some great reasons why 'Day of the Dead' might be Romero's true zombie masterpiece.

1.  THE BUDGET
For his third entry, George finally got a big budget, $3.5 million, to film the movie.  But he had to change his original vision which included a zombie army learning how to use weapons.  In the end, the special effects-heavy original script made way for a cerebral adventure in the zombie apocalypse.

2.  THE CAST
This movie has perhaps the most talented cast of the three up to this point.  The actors, from top to bottom, were outstanding.  Lori Cardille, who played Sarah, was the backbone of the cast, providing a solid protagonist to the solid antagonist, Captain Rhodes, played by an over-the-top Joe Pilato.  Rhodes goons were great, lead by another outstanding performance by Steele, played by Gary Klar.  And the misfits, John and McDermitt, played by Terry Alexander and Jaraleth Conroy, were outstanding middlemen to the struggles of the scientists vs. military through-line.

But the two people who stole the movie and are outstanding performance centerpieces were Dr. Logan and Bub, played by the late Richard Liberty and Sherman Howard, respectively.  Liberty, like Pilato, takes his character to great heights with theatrical skill, but doesn't go far enough to make it look ridiculous and remains based in reality. 

3.  THE OPENING SEQUENCE
I refuse to give away the opening moment, but the following moment with Sarah and the misfits searching for signs of life along the Florida coast is magnificent, and quickly and efficiently displays the hopelessness of the zombie apocalypse.

4.  TOM SAVINI
Between 'Dawn...' ('78) and 1985, Tom Savini became one of the most legendary masters of special effects, and he put his tremendous skill on display in this movie.  The makeup and final feast gore effects are out of this world.  This is one of the first movies that Greg Nicotero of 'The Walking Dead' fame cut his special effects teeth on.

5.  THE SCENES IN THE COMMISSARY
Before Quentin Tarantino was doing Mexican Standoff's at the Denny's in 'Pulp Fiction', Romero created one of the most tense moments in film during the early parts of the movie.  Not only that, but it put the acting skills of all the actors at the fore, including Pilato and Liberty in a great moment as they explore their philosophies on how to deal with their circumstance.

6.  JOHN'S MONOLOGUE AT THE RITZ
When Romero did not get the budget he needed for his initial vision, he had to scale the script back a lot.  So instead of relying on special effects, he had to rely on dialogue and character relationships to propel the story.  Its in this monologue, when John and McDermott invite Sarah back to their trailer, where you see how expertly crafted the movie is.  It's a monologue that rivals Duane Jones' 'Beakman's Diner' monologue from 'Night of the Living Dead' for performance, depth, and the hopelessness of the end of the world.

7.  MIGUEL'S GAMBIT
Again, one of the outstanding performers in the movie was Anthony Dileo, Jr., as the unstable Miguel.  From the word 'go', Miguel is a mess, seen praying in the helicopter and judged as unstable by his own girlfriend, Sarah.  When Miguel is left alone after suffering a serious wound (no, i'm not going to spoil it for you) and believes his friends have been killed, he unleashes zombies on his enemies in a hugely emotional gambit that has lethal results.  It is one of my favorite moments from any zombie movie.  His 'sign of the cross' gesture was one I used when playing high school football, so its a very special scene to me.

8.  THE FINAL FEAST
For me, a good Romero movie has to have a 'feast' scene.  You know what I'm talking about, right?  The moment when the zeds get a stack of people and just munch out on them.  You get the most tremendous final feast scene committed to film with this one.  The only other one that comes close that I can remember is in 'Land of the Dead'.  But man, you get to see the heels torn apart and devoured by hundreds.

9.  THE FINISH
The movie ends remarkably well, and is the only movie that offers any kind of glimmer of hope.

All in all, ZombieBloodFights.com will not punch your Zombie card if you have not taken in this movie yet.  Be ready for a little more depth both in performance, dialogue, and script, as well as a tremendous story that could arguably be the best film in the Romero trilogy and, perhaps, the genre.

And if you appreciate zombie horror, you'll love the 'Down the Road' zombie horror series from ZombieBloodFights.com.  Down the Road, Down the Road: On the Last Day, and Down the Road: The Fall of Austin.  Pick them up in paperback or Kindle today.

 

 

 

BOWIE V. IBARRA earned his BFA in Acting and MA in Theatre History from Texas State University.  Network with Bowie at his official website, ZombieBloodFights.com today.

BLOOD: REBLOG - Dead End Follies: Allan Guthrie's Ten Rules To Write Noir

Want to get an idea where the next ZombieBloodFights.com title, 'El Sicario' is going?  Check out this blog from Dead End Follies.

If you thought the 'Down the Road' zombie horror series was bleak, wait until you read 'El Sicario' in 2014.

Anyway, check out this blog at the link below...


Dead End Follies: Allan Guthrie's Ten Rules To Write Noir: I was thirteen and standing at a public urinal when my older cousin John walked in on me and said: "Ben, if you shake it more than thr...

BLOOD: REVIEW - 'You're Next' got siege horror right

DEATH OF THE AMERICAN DREAM, UPPER CLASS NIGHTMARES THEMES IN HIT HORROR FILM
by
Bowie V. Ibarrra

What 'The Purge' did wrong, 'You're Next' did right.  While 'Purge' was fun for concept alone, hamstrung by a poor plot and inciting incident, 'You're Next' hit on all cylinders in the great home-invasion horror.

Without spoiling the movie, the story begins with the Davidson family having a family reunion at an out-of-the-way home in the woods.  As the bourgeois family engages in the 'family dinner at the table', a sibling rivalry is again ignited at the table.  But while the brothers are squabbling, a masked team of killers makes a move on the family with murderous results.  And the fun begins as the masked killers lay siege to the house.

The movie hits all the great hot buttons for horror fans.  Lots of blood, lots of cruelty, lots of scrappy survivors trying to make it out alive for proper viewer catharsis.  The build up, swerves, and reveals are outstanding.  And the finish is great, and even a little hilarious.

You could see the influence of some of the classics of horror (including 'Night of the Living Dead' and 'Friday the 13th').  But the movie also seemed to have been inspired by the simplicity of such movies as 'Saw'.  The movie pretty much is shot in two locations, with some shots on the road, so you know the budget was small for maximum payout.  That 'KIS' formula for horror has been the best way to play it, and this movie seemed to have followed that low front-end/high-payout strategy.  Many of the kills were very basic, but they saved enough for the big finish to make it all worth it.  And this flick has a super strong finish.

Did it 'revitalize the genre'?  I don't know if I'd go that far.  Including some of the themes Americans have to face as part of the plotline was fun.  Naturally, the swerve near the end was great.

But it is a well-constructed siege horror/home invasion horror movie that stands out from the rest, and resonates yet again with the subconscious fear of the bourgeois that their money and status will not protect or prepare them from ruthless assaults from the proletariat. 

In a way, the movie became a metaphor for the debt and money struggles even the rich face, the credit and debt that is the gift of the well-off comes to roost, and even the rich are reduced to the struggles of the middle class in dealing with debt.

'What the f*** are you talking about, Bowie?"  Well, check out the film and you'll get where I'm coming from.

'You're Next' is a great flick fueled by a solid story and great performances from the actors.  It is completely ZombieBloodFights.com approved.

And speaking of great horror, check out a great horror novel, 'Big Cat', currently available in Kindle today.

 

BOWIE V. IBARRA is the author of the 'Down the Road' zombie horror series from Permuted Press and Simon and Schuster.  He earned a BFA in Acting and an MA in Theatre History from Texas State University.  Network with Bowie at his official website, ZombieBloodFights.com.

FIGHTS: Mayweather/Canelo continues to define 'The One'

BOXING EXCELLENCE, SCIENCE ON DISPLAY IN BIG FIGHT CARD
by
Bowie V. Ibarra

With the exception of the opening title snoozefest, the fight card 'The One' with the Mayweather/Canelo main event was a great night of boxing that once again put the outstanding boxing skills of Floyd Mayweather, Jr. on display.  Here's some notes from the night.

INTERNATIONAL BOXING FEDERATION JR. MIDDLEWEIGHT TITLE FIGHT
CARLOS MOLINA/ISHE SMITH

-- The MOLINA/SMITH IBF Jr. Middleweight title fight was garbage.  I showed up at the bar in the middle of this fight, and these guys looked like shit. 

Listen, I give them respect for getting to where they are in their respective careers.  Hell, I couldn't go 12 rounds of boxing.  I couldn't get out of round one.  But Jesus, these dudes looked like I might have after a round of boxing.  They were slow and seemed gassed out halfway through their title fight. 

Maybe it was nerves, or both blowing their load early in their big appearance, but I was not impressed.  Neither looked like they wanted the title.  And even though Carlos Molina looked more like Alfred Molina, congrats to Molina for taking the decision.

WBA/WBC LIGHT WELTERWEIGHT TITLE FIGHT
DANNY GARCIA vs. LUCAS MATTHYSSE

-- Now these two dudes, on the other hand, looked like they were fighting to free their family from the grips of a shady promoter who had them tied up in the back.  Both these guys brought the fire from the word go.  When it was all over, Danny Garcia had shut one of Matthysse's eyes and knocked him down once, bringing the victory to his camp.

THE ONE
FLOYD MAYWEATHER, JR. vs. SAUL 'CANELO' ALVAREZ

--  C'mon.  You already know it was 'Monster Heel vs. Babyface' in this main event matchup.  I'm not going to lie, I was hoping Mayweather would finally be humbled by the Mexican phenom.  But truth is, I really just hoped it would be competitive.

And it sure was.  I don't think going as far as saying it was a complete blowout is anywhere near the truth.  It was competitive.  Canelo stuck in there and gave it his best.  But the science, skill, and experience of Mayweather was too much for the young star even Mayweather called 'The future of the sport'. 

Canelo could not catch the elusive Mayweather, saying his punches weren't hard and more about getting those points on the card.  Canelo was very patient from round one, and tried to solve the Mayweather boxing riddle to no avail.

And as usual, when round four rolled around, Mayweather turned up the heat and started testing Canelo.  Though Canelo passed the early tests, the pressure Mayweather applied later and the mounting frustration of not being able to hit the champ throughout, put Mayweather on the winner's side of the cards.

-- There was one particular round where I thought Canelo got hurt.  There was one point in the late rounds where Canelo just stood on the ropes, hands up, and made no effort to fight back.  But when he finally responded, Mayweather just stepped away.

-- Gina Carano was in attendance at the fight.  That was cool to see.  I guess she's more of a 'movie star' than 'MMA star' these days.

-- Mayweather put the fight on cruise control in the 12 round.  There was no need to put himself in danger, as he had already won the fight by then.

--  A judge had the match tied.  I could see that.  Look, I honestly don't see six rounds that Mayweather completely dominated.  I saw four, maybe five that could have gone to Canelo, especially in the opening rounds, and maybe one or two late.  But I'm not a judge at ringside, I was a drunk at a bar.  And if Mayweather or anyone wants to complain about putting a matches decision in the hands of a judge, you should really be complaining at a fighter not finishing the fight and leaving it in the judges hands.  Don't blame the judges for doing their job subjectively.

--  For those who say Mayweather's a boring fighter, c'mon now.  It's like the dudes that say the science of jiu-jitsu/grappling is boring in MMA.  And though there's some truth to that, the real thing you should be looking at is the science behind it.  Boxing will always be more exciting than the ground game of an MMA match because of the nature of the sport, and watching Floyd dodge and counter was breathtaking.

The object of boxing is to cut a dude's face, punch them until their face starts swelling and they can't see to fight, or give a dude a concussion.  You can't blame Mayweather for being the best at avoiding those fates and being the best at it.  His skill and speed is super-human. 

In the end, it was still a great fight.  And that was probably the last real opponent for Mayweather, because there's no one left out there.  Pacquiau's done, and there's no one else that's going to challenge him in his last four fights whose even close to being ready for him.  Mayweather might be a sonovabitch, but he's got a Ph.D in the science of boxing.

And speaking of outspoken boxers, a boxing champ calls out an MMA champ in the story, "Pit Fighters: Double Cross".  Who wins the Boxing vs.MMA matchup?  You'll have to read it to find out.

'Pit Fighters: Baptism by Fire' and 'Pit Fighters: Double Cross' are combat sports-themed books that features fights from the early days of MMA, and plenty of underground money fights.  You've got to check them out, and they're available on Kindle or paperback today.

 

 

BOWIE V. IBARRA is the author of the 'Down the Road' zombie horror series from Permuted Press and Simon and Schuster.  His latest story, 'Tejano Star and the Vengeance of Chaplain Skull' is a Tex-Mexploitation superhero story in the tradition of 'Machete' and 'Black Dynamite'.  Get it in paperback or Kindle today.

Bowie earned a BFA in Acting and MA in Theatre History from Texas State University.  Network with Bowie for updates and news at his official website, ZombieBloodFights.com.