by
Bowie V. Ibarra
ACH joins JoJo Bravo against Guacamole Kingpin Jordan Jenson and "Dirty" Ass Andy Dalton |
All Inspire Pro Wrestling does is put on some of the most entertaining pro-wrestling shows in the Austin area. I had the opportunity to attend yet another show, and I had a great time.
I'm not going to pretend I remember everything that happened back in May, but I will share the photos and fun I had.
If there's ever a chance I can work out my own personal demons, it's with this homeless shitbag, ChrisTrew.biz/hipsterdickhead.no.edu~eatshit. The guy is a sneaky bastard and has been putting wrestlers under contract for years now for his 'New Movement' franchise. He's come a long way, admittedly, but he's still a Burrito-Fucking dirtbag.
No, really. He fucked a burrito. Click on that link above. Nasty bastard. I fucking hate this guy.
Anyway, from what I remember, he organized the 1st Annual Chris Trew.biz Star Search Invitational Battle Royale to find who his next charge would be.
One of the funniest and grossest experiences I ever had was at this event. Live rasslin' events are fun because you get to take in all the atmosphere, the strikes, the moves... and the SMELL!
Holy shit, when these guys got in the ring, the most amazing, no-gear washed, scmegma aroma, nervous sweat smell filled the arena and it was absolutely the grossest thing I'd ever smelled. Like a ballerina's practice shoes, or a rollergirl's kneepads after a tournament. It was like being thrown into a vat of unwashed jock straps. It smelled so bad. I hope all of these fuckers got paid so they can take their gear to the laundromat and wash their shit.
Holy shit, when these guys got in the ring, the most amazing, no-gear washed, scmegma aroma, nervous sweat smell filled the arena and it was absolutely the grossest thing I'd ever smelled. Like a ballerina's practice shoes, or a rollergirl's kneepads after a tournament. It was like being thrown into a vat of unwashed jock straps. It smelled so bad. I hope all of these fuckers got paid so they can take their gear to the laundromat and wash their shit.
Then there was this cocky bastard. He had the personality and look reminiscent of Mike Dell, but around 150lbs lighter. He was like Mike Dell's sperm, so that's what I called him because I'm a rude-ass fan sorting out my own personal issues.
In the middle of the Battle Royale, a ringer forced his way into the competition. SATX wrestling fans will remember this guy from his RCW days, the massive KEITH LEE.
You knew Trew and DELILAH DOOM were happy to add such a solid addition to their stable of fighters.
CARSON took on JAMES CLAXTON in an emotional matchup. Carson had lost his father just a few days before this scrap.
FRANCO D'ANGELO puts the screws to AMERICAN EAGLE as CENTERFOLD MATT PALMER looks on.
Doom gets wrapped up in La Campana by one of the HOLLYWOOD KNIVES.
THE HOLLYWOOD KNIVES take to the ring
This pic and moment hurt my heart a lot. Noted pro-wrestling pundit and internet manager of the outstanding pro-wrestling recap site WITH SPANDEX, BRANDON STROUD, was publicly humiliated by the monster LANCE HOYT. Stroud had not introduced Hoyt correctly at the previous show, and Hoyt spit in Stroud's face. Man, I thought he was going to cry. I'm not going to front, I would have. I think the pic is pretty much sums up what the most humiliating moment life can ever hand anyone would look like: Dressed up for fun, flip-flops, swim trunks, ready to have fun at a party with friends when the big jerk bully decides he's going roll up on you and spit in your face in front of all of your friends and your girlfriend. And then there's not a goddamn thing you can do about it because your in flip flops, dressed for fun, wearing glasses, and completely vulnerable and exposed.
To Stroud's credit, he didn't cry like I would have, and is even prepared to make a stand. I warned him not to, as I don't want to see him 'shoot-murdered'. But like the man of integrity I've grown to know as Brandon Stroud, he simply replied, words to the effect of:
Fuckin' A, man. Fuckin' A.
At any rate, Hoyt took on Dell in a war.
Did I mention he also spit on the ref?
MASADA took on 'UNHOLY' GREG JAMES. I thought for sure Greg was going to get the skewers. No such luck.
CHI-TOWN'S FINEST MR. B was in attendance.
Suspended ref TOMMY MUNOS had a great view of the ring.
He was also gathering signatures for his reinstatement after being shitcanned by IPW after losing a complaint from millenial dickhead SAMMY GUEVARA. The hotheaded Guevara filed a complaint on Munos for an assault by Munos that happened in the course of a match. Guevara had spit in Munos' face, and Munos lost his temper and speared him mid-match while he was officiating.
Texas Indy standout and current Ring of Honor star RAYMOND ROWE was also in attendance.
Now I don't even know what kind of kinky ex-lover thing these two were playing out at ringside, but it seems to have paid dividends. SAMANTHA ANN is now managing the reformed PATH OF RESISTANCE on the Texas indy scene. I hope Rowe knows what he's doing, as I still can't forget the infamous double cross that occured in SATX. Looks like Rowe is more forgiving than I would be, even for someone like Samantha Ann.
Oh, who am I kidding? I'd run back to the honey, too, if I could.
Okay, never mind.
Funk family protege THOMAS SHIRES took on Texas indy standout DAVEY VEGA. I'm a huge fan of both these dudes.
Brandon Stroud. Ready for fun and completely vulnerable.
My boy SCOT SUMMERS of the Kingz of the Underground took on rising Texas star RICKY STARKS in a great match.
Here are two of NWA-Inspire Pro Wrestling's masterminds: Stroud and MAX MEEHAN.
Star of the spooky movie 'Meet Me There' LISA FREDRICH was also in attendance.
All in all, it was a very good time. If you are a pro-wrestling fan living in central Texas, you need to attend an Inspire Pro show. Check them out HERE.
Support this blog by picking up one of the books from the ZBFbooks library as well. If you like zombies, blood, and/or fights, these books will rock your socks off to the max.
BOWIE V. IBARRA is the author of the combat sport series 'Pit Fighters' from ZBFbooks.com. It's the adventures of several fighters from around the world who form a stable to compete in the early days of MMA competition. You can pick them up today in paperback or Kindle HERE.
Network with Bowie and check out all his other cool books featuring zombies, blood, and fights at his official website, ZBFbooks.com today.
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