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Saturday, March 8, 2014

FIGHTS: Review - 'I, Frankenstein' upgrades the classic story for the worst

Bowie V. Ibarra

If you're familiar with the 'Underworld' series, then you know how stylistically fun the vampires vs. werewolves series is.  It also means when you decided to show up for 'I, Frankenstein' because the folks that had a hand in the 'Underworld' series were at the helm of this entry, then you knew what was coming.

I knew, but then should have known better.  Check it out.

The story revolves around Frankenstein, who has been wandering the earth for years, getting recruited by a decimated team of angelic heroes based out of Notre Dame who are being overwhelmed by a demon army bent on bringing the souls of hell to earth.  The angels need Frankenstein's ninja skills (!), while the demons need Frankenstein's secret to immortality.

And so the story unfolds.

Look, as a stylized action flick, the movie works.  The problem I had was I had to ignore a lot to enjoy the movie.  I know, I know.  I give lots of movies room to work their story, and am one of the easiest people to please.  But some things were still a stretch, even in this fantasy world.

Take, for example, Frankenstein's 'ninja' fighting skills and weapon proficiencies.  I can accept that, somehow, Frankenstein has been able to survive for decades not decomposing for whatever mad science Dr. Frankenstein used to make the Monster.  But for him to have the agility, speed, and toughness of the world's greatest athletes, as well as the ability to pick up a host of melee weapons and be able to wield them with efficiency.  C'mon, man.

And for a Monster who was put together with human scraps, I'm not sure about the science that Dr. Frankenstein used to make his body invulnerable to being slammed against concrete, cars, and other hard barriers without some kind of damage.

Performancewise, the cast was alright.  The strong lead played by Aaron Eckhart was a good choice.  He stayed committed to the role and the story no matter how ridiculous it got.  Put him against the outstanding Bill Nighy as the antagonist and the movie works alright.  The supporting cast held their own on the backs of the two leads.

But man you're still going to have to ignore a loooooooot of stuff to truly enjoy it.

I was reminded of a really rude remark my friend had made when the movie 'Real Steel' came out.  I'm not going to go all out on exactly what he said, but it was words to the effect of, 'Well, children need movies to watch, too.'

This was one of those movies.

'I, Frankenstein' was great on action and story, but too over the top for me to truly enjoy it.  Recommended for fans of ridiculous action, but not approved.

And if you're looking for a fun supernatural action/adventure story with a strong female protagonist like in 'Underworld', then pick up the sexy 'Codename: La Lechusa' today in paperback or kindle.  It's the story of a single mom who works as a secretary by day, but is an assassin by night for a clandestine government organization who gets wrapped up in a fight for security contracts at a big pharmaceutical conglomerate.  You can get that title HERE.
Below is the book trailer and the cover for the book.

BOWIE V. IBARRA is the author of the acclaimed 'Down the Road' zombie horror series from Permuted Press.  He earned a BFA in Acting and a MA in Theatre History from Texas State University.  His latest titles explore superhero themes, including 'Codename: La Lechusa', 'Room 26 and the Army of Xulhutdul', and 'Tejano Star and the Vengeance of Chaplain Skull'. 
Network with Bowie at his official website,, the leader in Tex-Mexploitation literature.

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