If there was ever an outstanding way to start off the year for some of the best pro-wrestling in Texas, it was right here. Guilty by Association 2012 was one of the biggest, violent, and enjoyable night of wrestling. ACW set the bar high for the rest of the year. Here are some highlights from the great event.
First of all, I arrived late. But never fear. ACW Cameraman and Air Sex expert Mason Scheer documented the whole thing via a live blog. Check out what many of the FanArchists were saying here.
The show opened with some fun with "Bacon and Eggs" Rachel Summerlyn and Jessica James, who beats Jo and JoJo. JoJo Bravo sustained an eye injury during the match. ZombieBloodFights.com wishes JoJo as speedy recovery.
8-MAN ELIMINATION TAG TEAM WAR MATCH
Children of Pain (Vexx/Silver/LaCrimosa/McLovin) vs. Childs/Wolfe/BongWater/James
This was a wild affair, with business deals negotiated before the match affecting the outcome. Apparently, Shawn Vexx bought KillerKash out of his contract with ChrisTrew.douchbag.tx.edu/hobo to secure his services. It paid off. But this match also saw the return of ACW hardcore specialist, Junior Garza.
JAYKUS PLYSKIN vs. JT LaMOTTA
Plyskin, leader of the vaunted Takeover faction, came out and talked trash to the ACW locker room. He also put Miss Maulie out there as a Takeover representative in the Joshi division, outlining his plan for Takeover domination of ACW.
Then, Plyskin trashed a game JT LaMotta in the ring. LaMotta was then worked over by the entire Takeover team, with no assist from the back. LaMotta spent most of 2012 making enemies, and though he claimed he will retire by 2012, he's got a lot of work to do this year to make anyone care about him after his cruel 2011.
AMERICA JOSHI TITLE MATCH
ATHENA (C) vs. ANGEL BLUE vs. LILLIE MAE
These ladies threw down in a great Joshi division matchup. Here are some snaps from the skirmish.
In the end, Angel Blue steals the title with 'white powder' to the eyes of Athena. New champ, the Alaskan Hatemonger, Angel Blue.
HAIR vs. CAREER vs. BELT
JC BRAVO vs. BERRY BREEZE (w/Chris Trew) vs. CHINGO
These former stablemates let the hate out with this big fight.
Then, in a tremendous show of disrespect to wrestling, "Newcomer of the Year Award" winner Chris Trew entered the ring to assist his charge, Breeze, assaulting the wounded Bravo.
But being unskilled in the ring, Bravo quickly recovered and turned it around, attacking Trew's vagina with his medical boot.
Trying to assist his boss, Breeze flew in, only to fall face first in Trew's twat.
After having been beat up, the King of Hobo Clowns stumbled out of the ring...
...Only to be assaulted with a steel chair by Chingo!
In the end, Breeze lost. But in a way, he won. If you call marriage a win.
The romantic Breeze called his girlfriend into the ring and proposed marriage to her. That's right, in the blood, grime, and dirt of the ring, Breeze found love.
|We fell in love in a wrestling ring|
In a crazy event, Mohawks manager had to come out and put a fan in check, who had assaulted Chris Trew on the outside. I might talk a lot of trash about that dirtbag, but I never lay a hand on him.
GRUDGE TAG TEAM MATCH
SUBMISSION SQUAD (Gelistico/Abernathy) vs. BIG RICKY/BOLT BRADY
These two teams have had bad blood for a while and went at it. After a pre-match kiss between Abernathy and Gelistico, the teams went at it.
Big Ricky went for a glam rock look, which I thought worked fine. Abernathy seemed to have gained weight after saying he was going on a diet. It at least made his distended belly look proportioned.
Submission Squad for the win.
On a side note, Chris Trew claimed he had a new member of his stable, The Business. It was a surprise to all to find his acquisition to be Scot Summers.
Well, that didn't last long, as Summers ended up spearing the holy hell out of the turd manager.
ACW TELEVISION TITLE MATCH
SUMMERS (C) vs. FITCHETT vs. VEGA vs. LYNN
The four legendary Anarchists mixed it up in the ring. Here are some snaps.
Don't ask me how it happened, but Summers ended up falling near me with that drop kick. Before I could move, I was part of a big rolling attack from Lynn. Such a tremendous attack from the legend hurt, but I was still able to take pics, and I saved my beer!
Vega becomes the new champ.
ACW HARDCORE TITLE SCAFFOLD MATCH
MASADA (C) vs. MATT PALMER
Masada has been the ACW kingpin for close to two years now, with nobody really coming close to dethroning the champ. He's even defended the title around the world.
But Matt Palmer has gone over the edge, somehow obsessed with beating the legend. Tonight was the night he was to have his call answered. Crazy was matched with crazy in this ultra-violent match. Picks below.
|Figure four in the scaffold|
Those are skewers stuck in Palmer's head, just moments before Masada threw him off the platform.
You ask for the psychotic maniac, you get the spikes.
Careful what you wish for, because you just might get it.
Even after the maiming, Palmer came back, tossing Masada off the top onto chairs.
Then, Palmer transformed back into the "Centerfold" and hit a big plancha off the top of the scaffold for the win.
New Hardcore Champ: "Centerfold" Matthew Palmer
ACW FASHION CORNER
Let's take a moment and talk fashion.
Here's the new ref with a classic choice: A 'Cantinflas" moustache. Bold choice.
Who is Cantinflas? He's noted Mexican clown from the classic era of movies. He made hundreds of movies in his time, and, to be honest, is one pretty funny dude.
Also, announcer Barry Savant with a great outfit: His suspenders and tie with his signature hat. Well done.
#1 JOSHI CONTENDERS MATCH
RACHEL SUMMERLYN vs. JESSICA JAMES
This match signaled the first appearance of Gary Mom. She was one ugly Billy Bob Thornton-looking MF'er, and was quickly punked by Summerlyn and James.
A mysterious dollar appeared in the ring during the match. That's Anarchy for you.
Rachel Summerlyn takes the win, but not without an appearance by Lady Poison.
GRUDGE MATCH OF EPIC PROPORTIONS
PORTIA PEREZ vs. ROBERT EVANS
Evans has ruined Portia's matches and chances at titles over the last few months. The scorned Evans has returned seeking some sort of twisted vengeance against Portia, who shunned his confession of love with a superkick to the mouth. It was time for Portia to get a measure of revenge.
|Forget Tebow, its 'Portia-ing'|
Portia on the attack. She even used chairs at one point.
But Evans quickly gained an advantage, then threatened to assault her with chairs she had used against him earlier.
Portia tried to lock out Evans several times. But it was Evan's size advantage that saved him both times.
In the end, Evans took the victory, denying Portia of her vengeance.
And what did Brandon of With Leather and Portia Perez SuperFandom think of how it all played out?
|Brandon shows his thoughts, as his special lady friend, Miss Destiny, watches on.|
ACW HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH
ACH (C) vs. GARY JAY
Things got real personal really fast between these two, with Gary Jay subject to a notably angry ACH. Usually free-spirited and fun-loving, ACH ripped into Gary Jay, seeking to punish the dirty ginger for being 'disrespectful' to fans and athletes alike. And especially for running back to St. Louis with the belt he earned with his own blood, sweat, and tears.
Jay gets an advantage as his nasty-ass mother looks on.
ACH takes to the sky
ACH takes the win.
But in a strange end to the evening, new Children of Pain leader Shawn Vexx came out to congratulate ACH, only to be jumped by the leader and his friends. There seems to be a collision course for these two in the near future.
It was yet another great night of action, ACW style.
To all the wrestlers and managers I cheer and jeer, thank you.
For up-to-the-minute ACW news, check them out at AnarchyChampionshipWrestling.com.
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Bowie Ibarra is the author of the 'Down the Road' zombie horror series from Permuted Press and Simon and Schuester. His upcoming book series, "Pit Fighters: Baptism by Fire" is a combat sports themed adventure book. You can purchase his written works here.
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